Xennial Memes
White text on a dark background: "is that ham processed? If it's processed I don't want it" Ma'am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith…

Deli Ham Gets a Biblical Meat Obelisk Rant

A deli worker answers a customer asking if the ham is processed with a dramatic rant about a meat obelisk, ending with a lower sodium offer. Classic Tumblr-style humor.

Image description

White text on a dark background: "is that ham processed? If it's processed I don't want it" Ma'am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith…

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A tweet-style caption reads: "if you've ever had to change out one of these just know i respect u and i hope u had a good day". Below it is a photo of a brown cardboard box labeled "5 Gallons" with a Coca-Cola label, the kind that holds soda fountain syrup. Hand-drawn chart titled "The Cube Rule of Food", subtitled "For identifying dishes based on starch locations". Six cube sketches with starch faces shaded teal: 1 Toast (bottom face), 2 Sandwich (top and bottom), 3 Taco (three sides), 4 Sushi (all but top and one side), 5 Soup/Salad w/ Bread Bowl (open top), 6 Calzone (all faces). Vintage-style illustrated poster titled "Encyclopedia of Sandwiches" showing 40 numbered sandwiches in two columns, from 1. Bacon, Egg & Cheese to 40. Cucumber Tea, each with a name and short ingredient list, including BLT, Reuben, PB&J and Cubano. Black text on a white background: "Hey do us all a favor and shut the fuck up. Shut the whole fucking fuck up. Shut the new extended 3 hour edition the fuck up. Once you've done that, put the bonus disk in and click on the deleted fucks and shut those the fuck up. And once you have finished shutting the physical fuck up, redeem the code on the back, download the digital fuck from amazon and shut those up. Shut your… Text post titled "Things you can say in response to literally anything, when you have nothing else to say:" followed by bullets: As the prophecy foretold. But at what cost? So let it be written; so let it be done. So...it has come to this. That's just what he/she/they would've said. Is this why fate brought us together? And thus, I die. ...just like in my dream... Be that as it may, still may it be as it may be.… Screenshot of a Tumblr thread. User marcvscicero writes: "writing style: author from the 1800s with a severe love of commas whose sentences last half a page". User fencer-x replies: "I came out here, to this point, to this place, hoping against all hope and despite signs and portends suggesting otherwise that I might, somehow, find myself having a pleasant experience, and yet here I stand, alone against the world,…

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